Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
