i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
