youre lurking in front of me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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