I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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