Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just barfed on his mom.

(404): View more from Georgia

You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.

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(323): View more from California

I totes stole your whore crown.

(239): View more from Florida

With great power comes great responsibility.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest

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(214): View more from Texas

He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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(714): View more from California

I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it

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(801): View more from Utah

If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.

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