fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
