looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't turn off my feet"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
