escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
