He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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