you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"