ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
