Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.