Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
two words...techno handjob
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
