Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.