you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.