420 ftw
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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