she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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