don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
