All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
