Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.