who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
