Do you still have your period?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome