so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
