I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize