8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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