its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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