Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize