you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
