Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
