Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm really busy with my period
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