What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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