I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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