dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize