Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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