I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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