omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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