I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize