I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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