Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
