Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
