The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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