She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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