Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
