I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
