"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
