Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have aggressive nipples.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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