a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
