I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
