new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize