Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
