I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My feet surprised me
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