soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
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