they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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