THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
