I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
