I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
