I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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