he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
