my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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