This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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