Porn is love you can see.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
