You work out of a Hotel?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
