did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
