only if we run a train.
done.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
