i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its about making memories worth repressing
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
