I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
