Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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