somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
