God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
