I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
that's an acceptable place to lick
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
