It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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