I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
